BIG GAY OUT
Big Gay Out is a community built for queer men who are tired of the scene and the pressure to perform. We run low-stakes, everyday events—like hikes, theatre trips, and relaxed socials—where you can just drop the armour. There are no cliques and no competition; it’s simply a reliable, welcoming space to show up exactly as you are and make genuine mates.
The Mission: Why We Are a CIC?
More than a social club…
London is one of the most connected cities in the world, yet it can be one of the loneliest for our community. Big Gay Out was established as a Community Interest Company (CIC) to address this head-on.
As a non-profit, our mission is to create a supportive, stable environment where members feel validated and seen. We focus on:
Reducing isolation: Providing a consistent “front door” to a social life that doesn’t revolve around apps or nightlife.
Supporting mental wellbeing: Creating a space where you can be your authentic self without the pressure to perform or fit a specific mould.
Fostering “Chosen Family”: Building a network where members look out for one another, creating a genuine safety net in the city.
From the Founder
Hi, I’m Owain, and I started Big Gay Out after realising I’d had enough of the same-old scene: parties, clubs, and conversations that rarely went deeper than surface level. I knew I couldn’t be the only one who felt that way.
So, encouraged by my therapist, I sent a message to a few friends asking if they’d be up for something different — maybe a hike, or a theatre trip, or just hanging out without the pressure of drinking or hooking up.
The response was overwhelming.
Since then, BGO has grown into a buzzing community of almost 500 members. We’ve shared laughs, tears, meaningful conversations, and unforgettable memories. It’s become more than I ever imagined — a chosen family for those of us who wanted more than the scene had to offer.
This website is a front door for those who’ve been waiting to find something like this.
BGO is no longer just my project—it’s a collective resource. By becoming a member, you aren’t just joining a group; you are helping us build a more resilient, supportive London for all of us.
Welcome in.
Owain
Hear from our members
🌈 The Big Gay Out Manifesto
London is a massive city, yet finding genuine mates within the queer community can feel surprisingly difficult. The mainstream scene is brilliant for a night out, but if you are tired of the loud clubs, the dating apps, and the constant pressure to perform, trying to build a social life can quickly become exhausting.
Big Gay Out exists to provide the alternative.
We are a non-profit community for gay, bi, trans, and queer men who want a low-stakes environment to do ordinary things together—hikes, theatre trips, life drawing, and relaxed pub socials. We are here to help you drop the armour, step away from the scene, and find your crowd.
Here is what we stand for, and what you can expect when you join us:
1. Connection over the scene We believe the easiest way to make a real friend is by walking side-by-side or sharing a physical experience, not by shouting over a DJ or swiping on a screen. We focus entirely on in-person activities where conversation happens naturally.
2. Drop the armour There are no cliques, no VIP areas, and no pecking orders here. We actively reject the toxic comparison culture often found in the community. You do not have to earn your place, impress anyone, or fit a specific mould. You belong here exactly as you showed up.
3. No one stands on the edge Belonging takes effort, and we do not just open a door and hope for the best. Most of our members attend their first event completely alone. We always meet beforehand to make sure everyone is introduced, and if you are feeling anxious, our Buddy Scheme ensures you have a friendly face waiting to welcome you.
4. Purpose over profit We are a registered Community Interest Company (CIC). We are not club promoters and we don’t have shareholders. Every membership fee and ticket goes directly back into securing venues, funding our mental wellbeing initiatives, and keeping the community running safely and smoothly.
5. Kindness is the baseline We expect everyone to look out for each other. This is a space for considered, respectful conversation. We value the different backgrounds, ages, and lived experiences of our members, and we actively work to make sure no one is ever left out of the group.
The Bottom Line BGO is about finding your chosen family without the exhaustion of the scene. Whether you want to join us every week for a pint or just fancy a Sunday walk once a month, the door is open.
Pick an event, turn up, and let’s get started.
How It Works?
Joining Big Gay Out is simple — and being part of it is all about showing up as you are.
1. Join the Community
Click the Join Our Community button and fill out a short sign-up form. You’ll be askedto agree to our values (kindness, respect, fun, and bravery) before being added to ourprivate WhatsApp groups.
2. Introduce Yourself
Kick things off by saying hi in the BGO New Member Intro Group — it’s the best way to start connecting, share a little about yourself, and get to know some friendly faces before jumping into your first event!
3. Explore Our Events
We host 1–3 events every week — from brunches and hikes to drag nights, fitnessclasses, theatre trips, and talks. Each event has its own dedicated WhatsApp group soyou can ask questions, chat with other attendees, and plan ahead.
4. Come Along
Pick the events you’re into — there’s no pressure to come to everything. Whetheryou’re feeling social or shy, there’s space for you. Most of our events are open toeveryone in the group, and we keep things low-pressure and welcoming.
5. Suggest Your Own Ideas
This is your community too. Got a great event idea? Want to co-host something? Welove when members take the lead — just message one of the admins or suggest it inour noticeboard group.